Archive for the ‘sports’ Category

West Virginia just finished waxing dook in the NCAA tournament. Here are the top ten excuses or statements that will be overheard as to why they lost

  1. WVU is more of a 3 seed
  2. coach k had the flu
  3. dook is a young team
  4. dook overachieved this year anyway
  5. dook doesn’t have the talent they used to. *note: dook has 8 McDonald’s All-Americans*
  6. k did a great job with the kids he had to work with
  7. the 3 ball just wasn’t dropping for them this game
  8. it’s not unexpected – dook has only gotten past the sweet 16 once in the past 7 years
  9. It was a valiant effort, WVU just wanted it much more
  10. dook didn’t have the size of talent as WVU

Got any other excuses you can think of? I know the one excuse you won’t hear as to why they lose:

When you are as reliant on the 3 point shot as much as dook  is, you are going to lose. One dimensional teams do not succeed in the tournament.

This is my open letter to ESPN

To whom it may concern – I tuned in to your channel(s) to watch the ACC Tournament. I was shocked to witness what I think is the most appalling, ludicrous, and idiotic marketing in the history of the world. This goes beyond the New Coke fiasco of the 1980s. It is even worse than any local furniture company commercials that buy TV time slots. I am talking about Opera Steve.

As this atrocity is so vile and heinous, I am unable to find the right words to truly label this event. Somewhere in your marketing department, a series of paid employees green lighted Operation: Opera Steve. I have a few thoughts I’d like to express to you. Please take this as constructive criticism. Your offering is currently better than Fox Sports, but that’s not really saying much.1. If it takes someone searching the internet (no not  googling) to figure out who is making these shrieks that are on par with the sounds of the alien in Aliens, this may not be the best idea.2. Just because said “musical talent” has a MySpace page, does not in fact make them cool or accepting with your younger audience.3. Dressing up this “talent” in a basketball jersey and repeating the names of the teams playing in a microphone does not make it hip.4. Rap, Opera, and college sports do not mix. Ever. Period.5. “Opera Steve” is neither a talent nor a fad. You have to be good to be either. In summary, I will say that the commentators and production quality of the game far outweighs what the regional  viewers are forced to watch (Yes RayComm, you suck). However, the fact that I am unable to keep food down after commercial breaks does not make me enjoy your product. In the future, may I suggest sticking with current or past game highlights,  or avoiding all marketing outside of the fly-in ACC Tournament logo. Thanks,ThomasPS – please get rid of ESPN Insider. Paying for content is a joke, and your site is littered with enough advertising that you shouldn’t need this extra income.

I’m sure you are sitting back asking yourself “How does Thomas handle watching sports on the left coast?” all the time. Well, I’ll tell you – I don’t. Working on 3 years out here and I still can’t figure it out. I miss games constantly. It’s not by choice either, I just can’t consistently get a day of sports in this state. I am slowing losing touch with the sporting world and I don’t believe it’s my fault. I think one of the biggest challenges I have being here is game selection.

The fact that the college sports out here (and I’m talking basketball here since it’s that time of year)are weak and boring, they (meaning those big wigs at the tv stations who chose programming) slam my tv with chumps and bums every day. I wish the studios would realize that “regional” does not equal quality or preference. But the sinister part is, they know it doesn’t. That’s why they have pay per sports, forcing us sports fans who want to catch a good round or two of peach basket games to pay out our noses. But are these paid events commercial free or feature decent broadcasters? Heck no, it’s just as much as the “free” games. I probably won’t even get the ACC Tournament because my channels will be filled with freaks and geeks trying to prove how much they don’t deserve to be in the NCAA tournament.

So yeah, I end up going to Target with the wife or taking our mutt to the park for some much needed excercise. I really have tried to get into left coast sports but it’s just not working. I’ve already talked about the college scene being weak. The Mariners are in the American League, I prefer the National. I hate the NBA, not to mention the Sonics will be gone soon enough (see you later Squatch). The only shining star is the Seahawks, but leaving at 9am to find parking for a 1pm game, having to miss the early games in order to find said parking, and the overall obnoxious and rude fans just makes the experience less than stellar.

So how does Thomas handle left coast sports? I wake up early, watch piss poor games, and rely on the internet and Sportscenter to stay on top of it all.  

You know, I have come to grips with the reality that sports have been tainted for the past 10 years by steroids, HGH, and whatever other performance enhancing drugs there are. What kills me is that Congress is involved. What do they care that Barry Bonds reached the home run record by doping, or that Roger Clemens had a trainer stick a needle in his ass? Also, who outside of New England really cares about the Patriots recording practices? I don’t want sleazy politicians spoiling my sports entertainment. The Pats lost, Belichek is a punk and cheater, move on. So here are 11 (because it’s one louder) things I’d rather have Congress working on than steroids and sports.

  1. Iraq: People dying or Barry Bond’s huge head. Let’s kick the patriotism up a notch.
  2. Subprime fallout: Which is worse – 100’s of thousands losing their homes, or 1000 people getting buff.
  3. Deficit: Unless you are going to take some sort of profit sharing from sports to offset our bills, start cutting the fat. 
  4. Education: Our education system is pathetic. Why not work on finding ways to get better teachers, better salaries, and better programs instead of getting dispositions from Jose Canseco. 
  5. Taxes: I don’t want my hard earned money spent on getting testimony from some roid raging personal trainer.
  6. Immigration: Sure baseball welcomes illegals, but should the United States?
  7. Airline Industry: How come it took me 33 hours to get from Raleigh to Seattle and I had to pay for it? Get these chumps under grand jury testimony.
  8. The Real War on Drugs: Which is worse – having muscles or having no teeth? Tackle drugs like crack, coke and heroin. If Jason Giambi wants to have tiny balls and huge biceps,  best of luck to him. Last time I checked he’s not shooting people for $10 or stealing my car radio for a fix.
  9. Permanent tax cuts: Supposedly I’m rich, according to the IRS. Middle class gets crushed in taxes. Don’t make us pay even more.
  10. Budget: Look, I’d love to go out and buy fancy cars, clothes, and take vacations to exotic locations but I have limited funds and bills to pay. Cut out all the BS spending, get rid of these bloated programs that do nothing but suck money away from more important itmes (see #3,4, and 6), and find a way to turn us back into a economic powerhouse. 
  11. Trades/Economy: Can you please work on solutions to get the US to actually produce something? I’d like to see this economy grow and actually have goods and products for other countries to buy from us.

This is just a very short list of things Congress needs to be working on instead of investigating sports. I’m tempted to write my representatives and senators and give them a piece of mind, that is if they are even in session right now. The only people that work less that the French are Congress.

2008 BCS Championship Prediction

Posted: January 7, 2008 in sports
Tags: ,

Tonight is the big matchup between the Ohio State  Buckeyes and the LSU Tigers. Sheridan odds have the Tigers as a 3.5 point favorite and the over/under at 48. I’m going with LSU to whip up on the Buckeyes? Why you may ask – well, I just don’t like OSU. I also think that LSU’s offense has too many weapons and will pick apart OSU’s top ranked defense. I’ll also take the over, because when two “defensive” teams meet up, they almost always go over. The only chance OSU has to beating LSU on their 2nd home turf is by coming out scoring and finding a way to shutdown Dorsey. I see the Buckeyes fumbling a championship trophy yet again.

 Thomas’s prediction:

 LSU: 41-27

MVP Offense: Flynn, darkhorse being Hester

MVP Defense: Dorsey, darkhorse being Steltz